Act 1
(I.B. in bicycle clothing, looking longingly across the parking lot of New Hope Baptist Church).
I.B.: "Oh, what a perfect day for a bike ride! The sky is cloudless, the wind is still, the birds are chirping, and it's 50 degrees. I haven't ridden since December, and I sure do miss it. Maybe I should do stretches beforehand ... Naaah. I'll just go at a leisurely pace. How bad could it be?"
Act 2
(I.B., with bicycle in gear 1 of 27, struggling viciously to climb a hill. Slips back down 2 feet, then starts climbing again.)
I.B.: "Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow..." (repeat 2912 times)
Act 3
(I.B. lying in the parking lot of New Hope Baptist Church, bike on top of him. He opens his eyes to find a sign towering above.)
I.B. (reading sign): "'Let us pray for you.' * Oh, please ... please do." (Loses consciousness)
The End
* Sad but true!
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